Be(a)ware

It’s October, which means two very different things:

1. Halloween!
2. It’s awareness month

Of course, pretty much every month is the awareness month for something or other, but October happens to be the awareness month for several noble causes close to my heart. And vegetarians. Be aware of vegetarians. We’re out there, and we’re passionate about getting our proteins from soy bean curd.

On a more serious note, it’s also Breast Cancer Awareness Month, when everything gets painted pink and everyone conveniently forgets that DMAB people are susceptible to breast cancer because they also have breast tissue.

Personally, I’m very aware of breast cancer. If anything, I’m too aware of breast cancer. I would like to know less about breast cancer. I would like the concept to be more remote and nebulous for me. In fact I think most people, these days, know about breast cancer, thanks to the aggressive advertising efforts of breast cancer related charities in the West. The survival rate, provided treatment is received, for women in the western world who are diagnosed with the disease is actually pretty good now. If only that quality of care could be extended to everyone around the world suffering from it, I’d be perfectly satisfied.

Because honestly? Cancer isn’t evil. It’s not something to beat, and it’s not tiny little white blobs living in some kind of bizarre dystopia. It’s just cells mutating wrong. Abnormal, potentially fatal, cell growth. And whilst it’s a terrible, debilitating disease, it isn’t evil. Spending millions, if not billions, of dollars on research into some miracle catch-all cure while millions of people with treatable variations of it die unnecessarily might be, but the disease itself is not.

Of course, I’m not saying that anyone should ignore breast cancer, or any cancer for that matter. If you notice swelling, pain, redness, unusual lumps or swellings around the breast or armpit, a change in the shape or size of your nipple, or dimpling of the skin that wasn’t there before, go see your doctor. Go. (Said I was aware of breast cancer, didn’t I?) But since that is, for most people reading this, a comprehensive enough guide to the symptoms when coupled with the huge numbers of pink ribbons, leaflets, and unnerving Channel 4 adverts around this month, I’m going to dedicate the rest of this week’s Monday post to some of the other, less well-marketed, things that October would like everyone to be aware of:

1. AIDS. The disease which ultimately led to the deaths of both Mark Ashton and Freddie Mercury has its awareness month in October. There’s been some speculation that a cure for the virus may be a possibility, but it remains fairly fantastic at this stage. Initial reluctance and outright refusal to research the disease did eventually die down when it became obvious that it could and was also infected heterosexuals, and I’d like to take the opportunity to remind everyone that any blood contact with an HIV-positive person can cause it to spread. That means no unprotected sex, no needle-sharing and no blood pacts, okay? Stay safe, kids.
2. Selective Mutism. If you’re wondering what the hell that even is, well, that’s why it needs an awareness month. Selective Mutism is an anxiety disorder, where a person is unable to speak in certain situations or to certain people. Despite the slight misnomer, sufferers don’t actually get to pick when they can and cannot speak. Shame, guilt, social ostracism or punishment will not induce sufferers to speak because that’s not how any illness ever has ever worked. If anyone you know (especially children who often struggle to verbalise their feelings anyway) has selective mutism, don’t try and force them to speak. They aren’t choosing not to, believe me.
3. Down’s Syndrome. I’m far from an expert as far as DS goes, but I do know this: m*ng/m*ngoloid, d*wny, and r*tard are all ableist slurs which have been and continue to be used to insult, belittle and marginalise people with Down’s syndrome and using them if you personally don’t have DS is fucking disgusting so don’t do it. Ever. On a similar note, words and phrases like “derp” and “hurr durr” were invented to mock people with Down’s syndrome and cerebral palsy so please also stop that. On a more positive note, American Horror Story has pretty good and rapidly improving representation of several girls with Down’s Syndrome (all played by Jamie Brewer, but don’t worry, that’s perfectly standard for that show).
4. Domestic Violence. I feel perfectly okay with stretching this to include any form of domestic abuse, be it physical violence, emotional manipulation, gaslighting or financial abuse. If you find your partner frequently insults or demeans you, mocks you, makes you feel like everything is your fault, twists or shifts blame for all your upset onto you, makes themselves the victim in any situation (even when you’re the one being hurt) threatens to or actually does withhold money or other resources from you unless you behave the way they want, attempts to isolate you from your friends and family, and/or actually threatens or does any physical harm to you, then please get out if at all possible. Here is the UK domestic violence helpline and here is how to use Google Chrome’s incognito feature if you want to hide search history from your partner. Remember that you’re loved and worthwhile and you absolutely do not deserve to be treated badly by anyone, let alone someone who claims to love you.

That’s about it for today. A full list of all the things to be aware of every month of the year can be found here.

Love, Queenie